She's gonna' blow.

Emotional stress, physical stress, more mental stress; I've been dealing with it all.

Can I disappear for a few months? Run away for a couple weeks? Hide for a few days?

I am going crazy. All I seem to do is sit in my room all day. Regular classes will be starting up here soon though, so I guess that could be considered a good thing. Although, I am sure it will just add to my frustration. Homework doesn't seem very appealing at the moment.

Tomorrow I think I will go for a long walk. Maybe in the coulees or something. I haven't taken any pictures in the coulees yet, surprisingly. Snow was in the forecast tonight, so I may lose my chance of biking there. I hope I can still bike. Biking is so much better than the bus and much faster than walking.

I also have to go to the store and buy food. Grocery shopping is definitely not one of my favourite things to do.

Thinking about how life might be like is sort of a turnoff at the moment. Why do we go to school? We go to school so we can get a well paying job. Why do we need a well paying job? We need a well paying job so we can buy things that we want and need and to go places we want to go. Sure, the aspect of traveling is exciting, but the idea of working for a long period of time just so you can save up enough money to go travel to some place and spend an even smaller amount of time there and wish you didn't have to go back home and back to work doesn't seem fulfilling to me. (Wow, run on sentence.)

I want to go live somewhere I will love and even if the job may seem weak, it wouldn't matter because I love where I am. Wouldn't that be great? I don't feel like going to school for years and years.. school sucks.
(How mature.)

My body aches. I ran a race today and I now have a new 5km time of 22:20. I am improving every race, although I would like to see my time go down to about 20:00 or so by Nationals. The pressure has been building because I am currently the top Canadian girl on our team and the 4th fastest girl. The top four runners are what get the points that count in the races, so I have to do well. I heard that another girl was going to join our team and she was really fast, but I didn't see her at the race today. She still might come to our next practice then. She sounds like she would be faster than me too.
I love our team. Everyone is so nice; the Kenyans, the guys, the girls, the coaches and the managers. They are amazing. Practice is definitely my highlight every day. No doubt about it.

Ahhh. My bed calls me. My mind is foggy and I am tired...
Good night!

Rachel