Ha, that last post was an overload, I think, but that trip was a blast. Definitely one of the best things I've done, in my opinion. Quite a few people would disagree with me, but that's fine.
So I kind of want to write something but I don't know what I should write about.
How about a friend and I went drinking with my cousin and her boyfriend on Saturday and had a blast? Yeah, that was a fun night but I felt like shitttt the next day. I was surprised I didn't chuck or anything, just ended up sleeping it off for 4 hours, which is a surprise in itself since my new bed is so much harder than I'm used to without memory foam on it.
I feel spoiled sometimes. I'm determined to get used to it, though, without the memory foam. I don't want to have to buy any.
I'm going to go to the gym today with a friend. It should be interesting, I haven't done any running or major physical activity for a extended period of time for a while. It makes me sad that I'm just sitting around at home doing nothing and it's resulting in me gaining weight. I went on an hour long walk by myself last night at 10:00 because I hadn't done anything all day. Hopefully going to the gym will help improve my energy level and get my weight down to what it was at the end of the summer. That would be awesome.
It sounds like I'm going to be job hunting for a job during the month of December; just for the Christmas season to bring in some more money. It's going towards my Guatemala fund.
I'm really planning on flying down there in the spring! Really, I'm completely serious about going, I've found a decent language school down there where I can organize somewhere to stay and learn Spanish from. The plan is for me to spend a minimum of two weeks there and then see how much money I have and how much Spanish I can understand/speak. My friend said she'd help me with my Spanish too. Then we'd travel around, just living life and seeing Guatemala and meeting new people. It'll be awesome, totally awesome.
My parents aren't really gung-ho with the whole plan, but have pretty much accepted that I am most likely going to go in the spring as long as I have money to get there, which I will. My dad told me that he appreciates that I at least asked them and talked to them first and didn't just go and buy a plane ticket and called them from Chicago telling them I was just waiting for my flight to Guatemala and he should probably pick up the truck from the Calgary airport. Part of me thinks I could never do that, leave to another country without telling them until I was halfway there. The other wander-lust, rebelious part of me thinks that would have been awesome. My sister said if I did that, she would have been irritable with everyone and jealous because I just took off without having to tell anyone and can do whatever I want. And she really wants to travel to, but school is keeping her quite occupied.
Anyways, I still have to pay off student loans that went to waste first before buying any plane tickets to Central America or paying tuition for any Spanish schools. Unfortunately, it's going to cut my fund pretty much in half.. I guess that's why I need a job.
Ah, gotta' love the real world. A piece of me thinks I'm just being ridiculous, planning everything like I am and not investing in something solid like school. Not going to lie, Guatemala seems wayyy better than any college or university. And I'm going to be going to school.. and going to learn a language so I can understand what everyone is saying seems a lot more practical to me right now than writing paper upon paper on theories or something like that.
Rachel.
25.11.09
Fucking around and experiencing life.
Man, I don't know where to begin.
I guess it started when I got my truck insured on the Monday morning that was November 23, 2009, as well as deposited two fairly big scholarship checks that most likely won't be spent on post-secondary education. My sister says I'm cheating the system by getting free money whose future probably won't involve college. I'm not going to lie when I say that I hope I won't have to spend anymore money on college, I really don't think it's for me.. we'll see.
The truck was insured so I could drive my sister back to her school. We were both pretty excited to go and spend the day together, just the two of us. We always have fun together. The day was spent going to a mall (which required some city driving. I think I did extremely well driving through the city, it boosted my driving confidence), buying expensive things and watching a movie. I think my sister was a bit embarrassed by my truck at times, but that's okay: I still love it.
(FYI: it's taken me about.. 6 hours to write this much. I've been running back and forth, doing other things. Just though I'd let you know how much effort I put into these things!)
Well, after I dropped my sister off at her college, I started my drive home, alone and in the dark. The thought had popped into my head earlier on the way to Calgary (where my sister goes to school), but as I was driving home, it came again: I was going to be driving over the Trans Canada Highway.
Ah, where does that highway go?
Why, yes, it does go acros
s Canada. But the part where it goes into the mountains is the part I cared about and I wanted to go to the mountains badly. So what did I do?
Well, I sat in the parking lot of the gas station sitting right by the overpass and Highway 1, contemplating the pros and cons of me taking off down the highway instead of going back home. I ended up turning around and started heading home, thinking that I couldn't go driving into the mountains, I had an eye appointment sometime this week and it was too reckless. A Tim Hortons sign caught my eye so I pulled in and grabbed a medium mocha. As I sat in the parking lot, I texted my mom, asking when my eye appointment was. The idea of turning back to Highway 1 was still pounding my mind. She told me it was in two days.
A lot can be accomplished in two days.
More specifically, a lot of driving can be done in two days. I could go on a two day adventure, it's enough time for me go somewhere in the Rockies and satisfy my mountain fixation for a little while at least!
So that's exactly what I did.
The drive was dark, windy and quite exhilarating. I was accompanied by mainly semi trucks and their wickedly bright headlights reflecting in my mirrors. Driving into the Rockies, the first town you go through is Canmore. I've been through the town many times before, but this being the first time I was there by myself, well, it was pretty exciting. It took me a bit longer than I thought to find the information center, where I parked my truck for the night and called my parents. Let's just say they weren't entirely pleased. I think sometimes my dad needs to give the world and I some more credit. It seems that to him, I am next to defenseless and the world is a very dangerous place with mad people wanting to hurt me.
It drives me nuts. Yes, there are some people out there who aren't the nicest, but majority of humans don't want to hurt others! I'm sure they would rather help than hurt. He worries way too much. It's unhealthy to worry too much. Just cut me some slack, please!
Sleeping in the truck was okay; it was hard finding a comfortable position. Not to mention that the heater wouldn't work unless I was actually driving the truck! It was a good thing that Melissa brought one of my blankets that morning or I would have been pretty chilled, even with my big, parka-like coat and gloves. When I decided to start driving again, it was still dark and fairly early in the morning because I didn't want to try and sleep anymore.
That morning I actually drove back and forth between Canmore and Banff quite a few times.. I just couldn't decide where to go. I tried driving down Highway 1, but there was so much snow blowing and I couldn't see, so I turned around and went back to Canmore. Then I tried again as the weather was clearing up and tried to drive up the Bow Valley Parkway but that failed as it was covered in snow and I was sliding all over the place, so I turned around again and went back to Canmore. It came down to the point when I was going to head home, but I saw two guys on the side of the road that looked to be around my age. I turned around and was going to see if they needed help or a ride or something, but they were gone. So, I kept going west on Highway 1 and found that it had cleared up immensely and at least the one lane was mostly free of snow and ice. No more turning around!
Okay, since I'm getting tired of typing this out, I'll make it short and sweet from now on. I didn't stop a lot the rest of the day. I think I probably stopped around 3-4 times between going from Canmore to Golden and back to Canmore. My favourite place I stopped at was Vermillion Lakes (I went there on the way to Golden and then on the way back). It's a small side road that goes along the lakes. Very pretty, it has an awesome view of Mount Rundle. Yeah, I drove all the way to Golden, British Columbia. It was wicked.
The gas prices in Golden was wicked too; it was $109.09 a liter there! The whole trip cost a pretty penny.. that truck sucks gas like you can't believe, but after that trip, I'm sure my truck could drive to hell and back. I was sure pleased with it and glad it didn't fall apart or die on me up there! The only damage it received was from the deer I clipped on the last stretch (not even an hour away from home!). Damn thing jumped out right in front of me from the left, so I braked and went left as it was already on my right and the right headlight and corner got crunched as it hit the deer's flank. Stupid.. I don't even care about the deer; I was sooo close to home and I was tired of driving. But the sunset leaving the Rockies was pretty. It's always pretty in the mountains at sunrise and sunset; the lighting is amazing.
It was a lovely trip. My parents were more happy to see me than angry. Mom was seriously worried about my dad's blood pressure, I guess it's been kind of high lately and me taking off like I did didn't help. My sister told me she was jealous of me. I don't blame her, she's got a lot of school work on her plate. My brother said I was ridiculous and couldn't believe I did that.
Now I feel like I can go anywhere I want, which is awesome. Even though my parents would flip if I took off again. They told me not to do that ever again.. we'll see. They said that they would have let me gone if I had approached it from another way, but I know that's bullshit. They wouldn't have let me go; fat chance. Dad would've said it's not safe and the truck isn't fit to drive in the mountains. Whatever.
My eyes are now sighted on Guatemala. We'll see how this will fly. I have a good friend living down there now and I've been talking with her about it quite a bit. My parents said they'd think about it.
I've already made my decision and I'm sick of waiting for theirs. I've been doing it for 18 years.
Rachel
I guess it started when I got my truck insured on the Monday morning that was November 23, 2009, as well as deposited two fairly big scholarship checks that most likely won't be spent on post-secondary education. My sister says I'm cheating the system by getting free money whose future probably won't involve college. I'm not going to lie when I say that I hope I won't have to spend anymore money on college, I really don't think it's for me.. we'll see.
The truck was insured so I could drive my sister back to her school. We were both pretty excited to go and spend the day together, just the two of us. We always have fun together. The day was spent going to a mall (which required some city driving. I think I did extremely well driving through the city, it boosted my driving confidence), buying expensive things and watching a movie. I think my sister was a bit embarrassed by my truck at times, but that's okay: I still love it.
(FYI: it's taken me about.. 6 hours to write this much. I've been running back and forth, doing other things. Just though I'd let you know how much effort I put into these things!)
Well, after I dropped my sister off at her college, I started my drive home, alone and in the dark. The thought had popped into my head earlier on the way to Calgary (where my sister goes to school), but as I was driving home, it came again: I was going to be driving over the Trans Canada Highway.
Ah, where does that highway go?
Why, yes, it does go acros
s Canada. But the part where it goes into the mountains is the part I cared about and I wanted to go to the mountains badly. So what did I do?Well, I sat in the parking lot of the gas station sitting right by the overpass and Highway 1, contemplating the pros and cons of me taking off down the highway instead of going back home. I ended up turning around and started heading home, thinking that I couldn't go driving into the mountains, I had an eye appointment sometime this week and it was too reckless. A Tim Hortons sign caught my eye so I pulled in and grabbed a medium mocha. As I sat in the parking lot, I texted my mom, asking when my eye appointment was. The idea of turning back to Highway 1 was still pounding my mind. She told me it was in two days.
A lot can be accomplished in two days.
More specifically, a lot of driving can be done in two days. I could go on a two day adventure, it's enough time for me go somewhere in the Rockies and satisfy my mountain fixation for a little while at least!
So that's exactly what I did.
The drive was dark, windy and quite exhilarating. I was accompanied by mainly semi trucks and their wickedly bright headlights reflecting in my mirrors. Driving into the Rockies, the first town you go through is Canmore. I've been through the town many times before, but this being the first time I was there by myself, well, it was pretty exciting. It took me a bit longer than I thought to find the information center, where I parked my truck for the night and called my parents. Let's just say they weren't entirely pleased. I think sometimes my dad needs to give the world and I some more credit. It seems that to him, I am next to defenseless and the world is a very dangerous place with mad people wanting to hurt me.
It drives me nuts. Yes, there are some people out there who aren't the nicest, but majority of humans don't want to hurt others! I'm sure they would rather help than hurt. He worries way too much. It's unhealthy to worry too much. Just cut me some slack, please!
Sleeping in the truck was okay; it was hard finding a comfortable position. Not to mention that the heater wouldn't work unless I was actually driving the truck! It was a good thing that Melissa brought one of my blankets that morning or I would have been pretty chilled, even with my big, parka-like coat and gloves. When I decided to start driving again, it was still dark and fairly early in the morning because I didn't want to try and sleep anymore.
That morning I actually drove back and forth between Canmore and Banff quite a few times.. I just couldn't decide where to go. I tried driving down Highway 1, but there was so much snow blowing and I couldn't see, so I turned around and went back to Canmore. Then I tried again as the weather was clearing up and tried to drive up the Bow Valley Parkway but that failed as it was covered in snow and I was sliding all over the place, so I turned around again and went back to Canmore. It came down to the point when I was going to head home, but I saw two guys on the side of the road that looked to be around my age. I turned around and was going to see if they needed help or a ride or something, but they were gone. So, I kept going west on Highway 1 and found that it had cleared up immensely and at least the one lane was mostly free of snow and ice. No more turning around!
Okay, since I'm getting tired of typing this out, I'll make it short and sweet from now on. I didn't stop a lot the rest of the day. I think I probably stopped around 3-4 times between going from Canmore to Golden and back to Canmore. My favourite place I stopped at was Vermillion Lakes (I went there on the way to Golden and then on the way back). It's a small side road that goes along the lakes. Very pretty, it has an awesome view of Mount Rundle. Yeah, I drove all the way to Golden, British Columbia. It was wicked.
The gas prices in Golden was wicked too; it was $109.09 a liter there! The whole trip cost a pretty penny.. that truck sucks gas like you can't believe, but after that trip, I'm sure my truck could drive to hell and back. I was sure pleased with it and glad it didn't fall apart or die on me up there! The only damage it received was from the deer I clipped on the last stretch (not even an hour away from home!). Damn thing jumped out right in front of me from the left, so I braked and went left as it was already on my right and the right headlight and corner got crunched as it hit the deer's flank. Stupid.. I don't even care about the deer; I was sooo close to home and I was tired of driving. But the sunset leaving the Rockies was pretty. It's always pretty in the mountains at sunrise and sunset; the lighting is amazing.
It was a lovely trip. My parents were more happy to see me than angry. Mom was seriously worried about my dad's blood pressure, I guess it's been kind of high lately and me taking off like I did didn't help. My sister told me she was jealous of me. I don't blame her, she's got a lot of school work on her plate. My brother said I was ridiculous and couldn't believe I did that.
Now I feel like I can go anywhere I want, which is awesome. Even though my parents would flip if I took off again. They told me not to do that ever again.. we'll see. They said that they would have let me gone if I had approached it from another way, but I know that's bullshit. They wouldn't have let me go; fat chance. Dad would've said it's not safe and the truck isn't fit to drive in the mountains. Whatever.My eyes are now sighted on Guatemala. We'll see how this will fly. I have a good friend living down there now and I've been talking with her about it quite a bit. My parents said they'd think about it.
I've already made my decision and I'm sick of waiting for theirs. I've been doing it for 18 years.
Rachel
21.11.09
Have you heard? Bird is the word.
Holy shmokes.
I don't think I've partied like I did last night since.. possibly graduation.
What a flippin' gong show; a drinking game was played, secrets were shared, stupid things were done, drunken wanderings took place and there was even people throwing up.
Oh wait.. that was just me.
There was also lots of singing and shouting (singing Shots by LMFAO and shouting "Have you heard? Bird is the word! Bird, bird, bird; bird is the word...", like Peter Griffin from Family Guy), a crazy trip to Tim Hortons and we climbed all over a tank. A dirty car was licked, empty cans placed on vehicle antennas, playing at a park, and a trip to the bar, but since someone forgot their identification, even though we went back to my friend's place just to grab our identification, we didn't go in.
Ah, that would be me, again.
We were actually quite surprised in the morning after discussing what we could remember from last night's adventures that nobody called the cops on us; I'm quite sure that we were raising quite a ruckus.
I've come to the realization (again) that I should really watch how much I drink. So far, I haven't controlled my drinking at all and normally wake up the next morning hearing from my friends what things I did while being overly intoxicated. At least I've been quite lucky to have friends around who look after me and make sure I don't do anything EXTREMELY stupid. It's kind of embarrassing, though, telling people what we did, because of course our drunken meanderings would seem ridiculous to someone who wasn't there drinking as well, and most of the stories I would tell them were told to me first since I don't usually remember them.
Oh yeah, I define responsibility.
Monday`s going to be sweet. I get to drive my sister to her university and it`s going to be a blast because it`s just going to be us; no parents.
I`m discovering that my independence has been lacking since I`ve returned to living with my parents. They told me since I`m living under their roof again, they get to make the calls. So I`m feeling like a child once again.
I do like being home, though. It`s a lot more relaxing and I`m not nearly as stressed as I was. I just need to get a job.. which unfortunately isn`t very easy in this small town.
I`m thinking I`ll be going to the gym again. It`ll pass time and it`s something productive to do. It also makes me feel and look better, so that`s a plus. Those 10 pounds I gained was a slap in the face and I don`t like it. Running doesn`t feel as good as it used to, I can`t keep my faster pace comfortably anymore.
Ahhh, yeah. Life`s just full of highs and lows.
Rachel
I don't think I've partied like I did last night since.. possibly graduation.
What a flippin' gong show; a drinking game was played, secrets were shared, stupid things were done, drunken wanderings took place and there was even people throwing up.
Oh wait.. that was just me.
There was also lots of singing and shouting (singing Shots by LMFAO and shouting "Have you heard? Bird is the word! Bird, bird, bird; bird is the word...", like Peter Griffin from Family Guy), a crazy trip to Tim Hortons and we climbed all over a tank. A dirty car was licked, empty cans placed on vehicle antennas, playing at a park, and a trip to the bar, but since someone forgot their identification, even though we went back to my friend's place just to grab our identification, we didn't go in.
Ah, that would be me, again.
We were actually quite surprised in the morning after discussing what we could remember from last night's adventures that nobody called the cops on us; I'm quite sure that we were raising quite a ruckus.
I've come to the realization (again) that I should really watch how much I drink. So far, I haven't controlled my drinking at all and normally wake up the next morning hearing from my friends what things I did while being overly intoxicated. At least I've been quite lucky to have friends around who look after me and make sure I don't do anything EXTREMELY stupid. It's kind of embarrassing, though, telling people what we did, because of course our drunken meanderings would seem ridiculous to someone who wasn't there drinking as well, and most of the stories I would tell them were told to me first since I don't usually remember them.
Oh yeah, I define responsibility.
Monday`s going to be sweet. I get to drive my sister to her university and it`s going to be a blast because it`s just going to be us; no parents.
I`m discovering that my independence has been lacking since I`ve returned to living with my parents. They told me since I`m living under their roof again, they get to make the calls. So I`m feeling like a child once again.
I do like being home, though. It`s a lot more relaxing and I`m not nearly as stressed as I was. I just need to get a job.. which unfortunately isn`t very easy in this small town.
I`m thinking I`ll be going to the gym again. It`ll pass time and it`s something productive to do. It also makes me feel and look better, so that`s a plus. Those 10 pounds I gained was a slap in the face and I don`t like it. Running doesn`t feel as good as it used to, I can`t keep my faster pace comfortably anymore.
Ahhh, yeah. Life`s just full of highs and lows.
Rachel
19.11.09
Here we go again.
You can't run away from them, Rachel. They always will find a way to make your life seem a bit more difficult that you want it to be.
Well, boys will be boys. Where would we be, girls, without boys gushing their feelings to us someway, whether it's directly telling us they like us or somehow sliding it in, like telling us that our name reminds them of a love song? And isn't it funny when two guys will tell you in the same night?
Hilarious.
Homehomehome.
Moving back in with the parents has been okay. It's been nice, I no longer feel lonely anymore. Weekends have been good and are sounding like they will be spent hanging out with friends, which is awesome. Even friends from Lethbridge! I'm pretty excited. I miss my friends from Lethbridge, really. I tend to go back and forth whether I truly miss them or not and consider them to be real friends or just drinking buddies, but I really think that they're friends. They are awesome people and I'm glad to have met them.
Man, I need to stop fiddling with my nose piercing. It's growing into bad habit and it'll probably get infected or something.
Not to mention it probably looks like I'm picking my nose whenever I do it.
Lovely.
I took some pictures with my DSLR for the first time in months today and I got some pretty decent shots too. My subjects were my Bud (he looks so beautiful, I love my puppy!), plants and leaves covered with the morning's frost and moose! Yes, moose! I have seen a cow with twin calves for the past 3 days when I go on a walk or run so I decided if I saw them again today, I would return the dog at home and go back with my camera to photograph them. It was fun to hang out with moose again, I haven't done it in quite some time!
Ahh, me thinks it's bed time. My mom and I have hair appointments at 9AM this morning, so I better get some sleep so I don't look so haggard.
G'night, mateys.
Rachel
Well, boys will be boys. Where would we be, girls, without boys gushing their feelings to us someway, whether it's directly telling us they like us or somehow sliding it in, like telling us that our name reminds them of a love song? And isn't it funny when two guys will tell you in the same night?
Hilarious.
Homehomehome.
Moving back in with the parents has been okay. It's been nice, I no longer feel lonely anymore. Weekends have been good and are sounding like they will be spent hanging out with friends, which is awesome. Even friends from Lethbridge! I'm pretty excited. I miss my friends from Lethbridge, really. I tend to go back and forth whether I truly miss them or not and consider them to be real friends or just drinking buddies, but I really think that they're friends. They are awesome people and I'm glad to have met them.
Man, I need to stop fiddling with my nose piercing. It's growing into bad habit and it'll probably get infected or something.
Not to mention it probably looks like I'm picking my nose whenever I do it.
Lovely.
I took some pictures with my DSLR for the first time in months today and I got some pretty decent shots too. My subjects were my Bud (he looks so beautiful, I love my puppy!), plants and leaves covered with the morning's frost and moose! Yes, moose! I have seen a cow with twin calves for the past 3 days when I go on a walk or run so I decided if I saw them again today, I would return the dog at home and go back with my camera to photograph them. It was fun to hang out with moose again, I haven't done it in quite some time!
Ahh, me thinks it's bed time. My mom and I have hair appointments at 9AM this morning, so I better get some sleep so I don't look so haggard.
G'night, mateys.
Rachel
13.11.09
There's no place like... the parent's place..?
Yep, I'm moving back in with the parents today. I can feel my independence cry inside but I think I'm going to enjoy living there again. At least for a little while.
The 'rents will be here in about an hour and a half. I'm still in my pajamas, my room is a complete mess and I can't really tell if I'm done all my packing... I think I've packed as much as I can, but with everything strewn across my room, it's hard to tell. Whatever, it's just going to be thrown into the back of the van anyways.
I think both my parents are coming to get me. I was sort of hoping it would just be my dad, but my mom texted me saying they were going to be here around noon. Now I get to sit in the back, one seat, with all my crap crammed in around me. Great, it's going to be great.
God, I still have my "friend's" stupid hoodie and he won't even reply to me to get it back! He's been acting like a douche. For about a month. He's been acting so stupid... Maybe even bit longer than a month. Whatever, I guess I have myself a new hoodie!
I really should get to packing. I have way too much stuff. sigh.
Last blog from this stinkin' city!
Woohoo?
Rachel
The 'rents will be here in about an hour and a half. I'm still in my pajamas, my room is a complete mess and I can't really tell if I'm done all my packing... I think I've packed as much as I can, but with everything strewn across my room, it's hard to tell. Whatever, it's just going to be thrown into the back of the van anyways.
I think both my parents are coming to get me. I was sort of hoping it would just be my dad, but my mom texted me saying they were going to be here around noon. Now I get to sit in the back, one seat, with all my crap crammed in around me. Great, it's going to be great.
God, I still have my "friend's" stupid hoodie and he won't even reply to me to get it back! He's been acting like a douche. For about a month. He's been acting so stupid... Maybe even bit longer than a month. Whatever, I guess I have myself a new hoodie!
I really should get to packing. I have way too much stuff. sigh.
Last blog from this stinkin' city!
Woohoo?
Rachel
10.11.09
Righteously, totally HOT!!
I received a text tonight from a friend that I made last summer and he told me I looked "righteously, totally HOT!!" after I sent him a picture that my sister took of me this weekend with my phone (he requested a picture for his phone).
I literally laughed out loud and couldn't stop laughing and was worried about how close I was to actually crying. Based off of my reaction, I have come up with the conclusion that I am slowly going crazy. Or something of the sorts.
He was just giving me a compliment, "nothing more", he said. Seriously, my self esteem has been in the crapper lately because I've gained some weight in the past month or so and I feel so self conscious all the time. I know I'm just being ridiculous, but I almost dread going out in public because I feel so crappy about myself. Yes, it's ridiculous. So upon reading this text, I instantly started thinking about how he must be mistaken: the angle the picture was taken at must be hiding how I really look like and since the picture was sent in a text, it is hard to see detail because it's so small and so he can't see how I really look like now. Stuff like that.
Jeez.
Tomorrow night, I am going to the bar to meet up with my college buddies. I'm so pumped, I haven't seen them in a while and I hate being in my room all the time. I'm so excited to get out and actually do something and socialize with people. Real, live people.
I can't wait to move home. It'll be nice to hang out and spend time with friends from high school. I'm not really looking forward to looking for a job though, it doesn't sound like there is many employment opportunities there. Oh well, I'll find something, I'm sure. Hopefully it'll be decent. And I'm looking forward to walking my dog again in the river reserve! Holy, and walking with my mommy and grandma in the mornings. It'll be fantastic. I hope that I'll start taking pictures again as well. My camera has been hiding away in it's bag for close to three months now.. it's quite sad.
In the kitchen of my small, dark basement (okay, it's not really dark or anything), there is a big wall plaque-thing that has the poem Desiderata printed on it. I've read it over several times since moving here and I really like it. It's pretty motivational, I guess. The one line "you are a child of the universe, nothing less than the trees and the stars" is my favourite. It definitely makes one think because the stars are great balls of gas, swirling around, billions and billions miles away.
Ha, I feel special now!
I should go to sleep now. My sleep schedule has been retarded, I never seem to go to sleep earlier that 11:00PM. Ever. No matter how hard I try. It's mainly due to my brain not knowing when it should shut off and take a flippin' break when I want a break. I have so many thoughts flying through my headddd.
Well, toodles.
Rachel
I literally laughed out loud and couldn't stop laughing and was worried about how close I was to actually crying. Based off of my reaction, I have come up with the conclusion that I am slowly going crazy. Or something of the sorts.
He was just giving me a compliment, "nothing more", he said. Seriously, my self esteem has been in the crapper lately because I've gained some weight in the past month or so and I feel so self conscious all the time. I know I'm just being ridiculous, but I almost dread going out in public because I feel so crappy about myself. Yes, it's ridiculous. So upon reading this text, I instantly started thinking about how he must be mistaken: the angle the picture was taken at must be hiding how I really look like and since the picture was sent in a text, it is hard to see detail because it's so small and so he can't see how I really look like now. Stuff like that.
Jeez.
Tomorrow night, I am going to the bar to meet up with my college buddies. I'm so pumped, I haven't seen them in a while and I hate being in my room all the time. I'm so excited to get out and actually do something and socialize with people. Real, live people.
I can't wait to move home. It'll be nice to hang out and spend time with friends from high school. I'm not really looking forward to looking for a job though, it doesn't sound like there is many employment opportunities there. Oh well, I'll find something, I'm sure. Hopefully it'll be decent. And I'm looking forward to walking my dog again in the river reserve! Holy, and walking with my mommy and grandma in the mornings. It'll be fantastic. I hope that I'll start taking pictures again as well. My camera has been hiding away in it's bag for close to three months now.. it's quite sad.
In the kitchen of my small, dark basement (okay, it's not really dark or anything), there is a big wall plaque-thing that has the poem Desiderata printed on it. I've read it over several times since moving here and I really like it. It's pretty motivational, I guess. The one line "you are a child of the universe, nothing less than the trees and the stars" is my favourite. It definitely makes one think because the stars are great balls of gas, swirling around, billions and billions miles away.
Ha, I feel special now!
I should go to sleep now. My sleep schedule has been retarded, I never seem to go to sleep earlier that 11:00PM. Ever. No matter how hard I try. It's mainly due to my brain not knowing when it should shut off and take a flippin' break when I want a break. I have so many thoughts flying through my headddd.
Well, toodles.
Rachel
8.11.09
I love/hate dreams.
Dreams are sweet and awful at the same time and I don't like it. They tease you, sometimes showing you what might happen if you get what you want most. They give you a taste of what you might really desire at the time, and it sucks when you have to wake up and discover that, hey, it was just a dream!
I've been dreaming about the same thing ever since I came to spend the weekend with my sister and I guess it's about something I've been really wanting lately. But there's really nothing I can do about it, so I suppose I'll just have to live with it.
Bah humbug.
Visiting my sister has been sweet so far. We've been sitting around, watching movies, eating candy and unhealthy food and braiding each other's hair. All that crazy girly stuff. It's been fun.
Yeahhh, not much going on besides that.. I guess that's all.
I just wanted to say that little bit about dreams. The dreams have been driving me nuts.
Rachel
I've been dreaming about the same thing ever since I came to spend the weekend with my sister and I guess it's about something I've been really wanting lately. But there's really nothing I can do about it, so I suppose I'll just have to live with it.
Bah humbug.
Visiting my sister has been sweet so far. We've been sitting around, watching movies, eating candy and unhealthy food and braiding each other's hair. All that crazy girly stuff. It's been fun.
Yeahhh, not much going on besides that.. I guess that's all.
I just wanted to say that little bit about dreams. The dreams have been driving me nuts.
Rachel
4.11.09
And there's nothing you can do about it.
In your face, college. Tomorrow, I am going to withdraw and there's nothing you can do about it. Chew on that for a bit and tell me how that tastes.
AND THEN YOU CAN EAT IT!
Seriously, though. I feel like laughing, crying, screaming, jumping up and down and more. It's unbelievable. I feel like a lot of people are judging me at this point, but I don't care because so much of me feels so relieved that I won't be skipping classes anymore and I won't have any failing classes on my transcripts that would follow me forever. I will still look like a responsible student if one were to base what kind of student I am from looking at them. And it makes me happy.
Oh so happy.
Telling my Cross Country coach really wasn't as scary and heat-wrenching as I thought. It was actually quite easy and I quickly became annoyed when he went on trying to tell me ways I could stay in school and still run Nationals.
Yeah, I'm not running Nationals. It's one race and even though it's the biggest race of the season and would have been the biggest race I've ever ran, it wasn't worth it to me to have failing grades on my college transcripts for the rest of my life so I could run it. So, I'm giving it up.
I'll be moving back home in about 2-3 weeks, I think. I'm so excited. My dad said I'll have to find a job fairly quickly though, he doesn't want me just sitting around. I think I'll probably go waitress or something. Maybe even apply at the lumber mill. Who knows. We'll see how things roll when we come to that hill.
Can you smell that?
No?
Well, I can, and it smells like sweet, sweet freedom in the air.
(That was so corny, but I don't know if you've noticed; I don't really care about what other people think right now!)
Rachel
AND THEN YOU CAN EAT IT!
Seriously, though. I feel like laughing, crying, screaming, jumping up and down and more. It's unbelievable. I feel like a lot of people are judging me at this point, but I don't care because so much of me feels so relieved that I won't be skipping classes anymore and I won't have any failing classes on my transcripts that would follow me forever. I will still look like a responsible student if one were to base what kind of student I am from looking at them. And it makes me happy.
Oh so happy.
Telling my Cross Country coach really wasn't as scary and heat-wrenching as I thought. It was actually quite easy and I quickly became annoyed when he went on trying to tell me ways I could stay in school and still run Nationals.
Yeah, I'm not running Nationals. It's one race and even though it's the biggest race of the season and would have been the biggest race I've ever ran, it wasn't worth it to me to have failing grades on my college transcripts for the rest of my life so I could run it. So, I'm giving it up.
I'll be moving back home in about 2-3 weeks, I think. I'm so excited. My dad said I'll have to find a job fairly quickly though, he doesn't want me just sitting around. I think I'll probably go waitress or something. Maybe even apply at the lumber mill. Who knows. We'll see how things roll when we come to that hill.
Can you smell that?
No?
Well, I can, and it smells like sweet, sweet freedom in the air.
(That was so corny, but I don't know if you've noticed; I don't really care about what other people think right now!)
Rachel
2.11.09
Holy snot.
This morning I woke up at 7:25. Luckily, I was blessed with 3 more hours of sleep. Now, I feel like crap.
My poor nose. All morning, I've been sneezing my face off and it's resulted in a big nose bleed, both nostrils. It took about 20 minutes to get it under control, and then I blew out a huge blood clot. That was nasty, but the sneezing still continues. I feel like a stuffed up, snotty mess. 'Just thought I'd tell you about it. Ha. To me, it was so disgusting, it was funny. Seriously, it was making me giggle. It was one of those weird moments.
Tomorrow my parents are coming for this banquet for the athletes.. I really don't want to go. I don't feel like going anywhere anymore. Except for that academic appointment. By Wednesday or hopefully by the end of the week, I will figure out if I'm staying in school or not. I just want to go home, get myself together and figure out what I REALLY want to do.
Lately, I've kind of wanted to go skating. I want to play hockey, but I know I can't skate well enough and, well, I'm not that good at it.
Ahh, man.
You know what I what to do?
I want to go home and get a job. Hopefully, it will pay decently, because I want to get my own vehicle. I would like it to be a truck, maybe a smaller one, but one that can handle tougher driving conditions. A car would be fine too, though. I'll be saving money as well, obviously. Maybe on long weekends and such I'll go out on camping trips. Out in the mountains. See if some friends want to come along.
I can't wait until summer.
Rachel
My poor nose. All morning, I've been sneezing my face off and it's resulted in a big nose bleed, both nostrils. It took about 20 minutes to get it under control, and then I blew out a huge blood clot. That was nasty, but the sneezing still continues. I feel like a stuffed up, snotty mess. 'Just thought I'd tell you about it. Ha. To me, it was so disgusting, it was funny. Seriously, it was making me giggle. It was one of those weird moments.
Tomorrow my parents are coming for this banquet for the athletes.. I really don't want to go. I don't feel like going anywhere anymore. Except for that academic appointment. By Wednesday or hopefully by the end of the week, I will figure out if I'm staying in school or not. I just want to go home, get myself together and figure out what I REALLY want to do.
Lately, I've kind of wanted to go skating. I want to play hockey, but I know I can't skate well enough and, well, I'm not that good at it.
Ahh, man.
You know what I what to do?
I want to go home and get a job. Hopefully, it will pay decently, because I want to get my own vehicle. I would like it to be a truck, maybe a smaller one, but one that can handle tougher driving conditions. A car would be fine too, though. I'll be saving money as well, obviously. Maybe on long weekends and such I'll go out on camping trips. Out in the mountains. See if some friends want to come along.
I can't wait until summer.
Rachel
1.11.09
I found it.
I found my bedroom floor. It was hiding underneath all my clothes and garbage and whatever else I had thrown on the floor in the past month. The vacuum sucked up so much junk, it was gross. I'm surprised I let my room get that dirty though. It's nice that it's clean again, it makes me feel better about being in the room.
My cross country team won the title of Provincial Champions yesterday! Both the men's and woman's team. It was awesome, even though I didn't run my best due to being sick. I was wheezing for the last bit of the course, but at least I didn't drop out of it or anything. I figured if I couldn't place top ten, I could at least run the whole race and finish. That's pretty much all my coach had asked of me since I was sick. That and to come back with a vengeance for Nationals.. so I guess I'm going to be training hard for the next two weeks!
Uggggh, my nose is bothering me today. And my cough sounds nasty and phlegmy. Even the word phlegm looks gross. I don't like being siccckkkk.
Rachel
My cross country team won the title of Provincial Champions yesterday! Both the men's and woman's team. It was awesome, even though I didn't run my best due to being sick. I was wheezing for the last bit of the course, but at least I didn't drop out of it or anything. I figured if I couldn't place top ten, I could at least run the whole race and finish. That's pretty much all my coach had asked of me since I was sick. That and to come back with a vengeance for Nationals.. so I guess I'm going to be training hard for the next two weeks!
Uggggh, my nose is bothering me today. And my cough sounds nasty and phlegmy. Even the word phlegm looks gross. I don't like being siccckkkk.
Rachel
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