Righteously, totally HOT!!

I received a text tonight from a friend that I made last summer and he told me I looked "righteously, totally HOT!!" after I sent him a picture that my sister took of me this weekend with my phone (he requested a picture for his phone).
I literally laughed out loud and couldn't stop laughing and was worried about how close I was to actually crying. Based off of my reaction, I have come up with the conclusion that I am slowly going crazy. Or something of the sorts.
He was just giving me a compliment, "nothing more", he said. Seriously, my self esteem has been in the crapper lately because I've gained some weight in the past month or so and I feel so self conscious all the time. I know I'm just being ridiculous, but I almost dread going out in public because I feel so crappy about myself. Yes, it's ridiculous. So upon reading this text, I instantly started thinking about how he must be mistaken: the angle the picture was taken at must be hiding how I really look like and since the picture was sent in a text, it is hard to see detail because it's so small and so he can't see how I really look like now. Stuff like that.

Jeez.

Tomorrow night, I am going to the bar to meet up with my college buddies. I'm so pumped, I haven't seen them in a while and I hate being in my room all the time. I'm so excited to get out and actually do something and socialize with people. Real, live people.

I can't wait to move home. It'll be nice to hang out and spend time with friends from high school. I'm not really looking forward to looking for a job though, it doesn't sound like there is many employment opportunities there. Oh well, I'll find something, I'm sure. Hopefully it'll be decent. And I'm looking forward to walking my dog again in the river reserve! Holy, and walking with my mommy and grandma in the mornings. It'll be fantastic. I hope that I'll start taking pictures again as well. My camera has been hiding away in it's bag for close to three months now.. it's quite sad.

In the kitchen of my small, dark basement (okay, it's not really dark or anything), there is a big wall plaque-thing that has the poem Desiderata printed on it. I've read it over several times since moving here and I really like it. It's pretty motivational, I guess. The one line "you are a child of the universe, nothing less than the trees and the stars" is my favourite. It definitely makes one think because the stars are great balls of gas, swirling around, billions and billions miles away.
Ha, I feel special now!

I should go to sleep now. My sleep schedule has been retarded, I never seem to go to sleep earlier that 11:00PM. Ever. No matter how hard I try. It's mainly due to my brain not knowing when it should shut off and take a flippin' break when I want a break. I have so many thoughts flying through my headddd.

Well, toodles.

Rachel